Badger's Den

Winter Blues
1:20 p.m. - 2008-02-18

I so tired of winter. It seems like we just get storm after storm. Granted it's nicer in Badgerville than where Eugene is. Ice topped with 10 inches of snow was what he was dealing with. I'm tired of the depression that just saps my energy. I need a week of Florida or California.

I'm also tired of whenever there is partisanship in Congress that disagrees with G.W., he always tells them to stop bickering. Of course when the bickering is in his favor he's silent.

I don't know which pisses me off more - his manipulation of the message or that people fall for his rhetoric. Probably the latter. Long before G.W. I worried that populism would eventually be how this country is run. Substance and soundbites over thoughtful decisions.

I did go to dinner and a play with Tim and Caroly on Friday. We saw "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" and it was outstanding. I have never seen this before and it was great. Classic control vs. passive aggressive. perhaps should be required marital counselling material?

Also with to dinner with JB (excellent 2 inch thick porkchop)and brought him home for after dinner drinks and a viewing of "Sordid Lives." We both laughed out loud. Thanks again to Matt for introducing me to this great white trash film that hits way too close to home.

Last night I IM'd Eugene for a couple hours then we signed off due to the instability of his satelite connection. I settled on the couch and watched "At World's End" the third installment of Pirates of the Carribean. Good adventure!

So I'm focusing on this weekend and weather permitting being with Eugene. I am really missing him. I haven't seen him in a month.

I just want to get in the car and drive south, only I'd like Eugene to go too. He's not the road trip kinda guy, I'm afraid. Especially when he's so tight on vacation.

Star Trek
8:48 a.m. - 2008-02-14

Well I took the Star Trek character test and the results are below. I note that I am practically expendible and also almost Jean Luc. Does that mean Jean Luc and Deanna are practically expendable.

Your results:
You are Deanna Troi

Deanna Troi 65% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 65% Jean-Luc Picard 60% Chekov 50% Geordi LaForge 50% Spock 49% Data 47% Uhura 45% Will Riker 45% James T. Kirk (Captain) 40% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 40% Mr. Scott 35% Mr. Sulu 35% Beverly Crusher 35% Worf 25%

You are a caring and loving individual. You understand people's emotions and you are able to comfort and counsel them.

Regarding Eugene
12:52 p.m. - 2008-02-11

Distance only lends enchantment
Though the ocean waves divide
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
Longing to be near your side.

--- Arthur Gillespie

The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of.

--- Charles H Parkhurst

Holiday Pix
12:49 p.m. - 2008-02-08

Pictures from Eugene's holday visit. At my mom's...

In front of my fireplace...

Click here to see more pix I've taken.

Badger Fan
10:14 a.m. - 2008-02-08

How nice that Eugene is a Badger fan.

Not just me but the University of Wisconsin Badgers as well.

;)

Badgers Related to Groundhogs?
10:11 a.m. - 2008-02-08

Sunlight = Good

Gloomy clouds = Bad

Today is sunny so Badger is happy.

Fat Tuesday
8:13 a.m. - 2008-02-05

Happy Mardi Gras.

I'm still here, tho I feel like I'm more 'existing' than anything else. My seasonal disorder is at its worst with gloomy weather and cold temps. Plus, with daily weather changes of late, my sinuses have kept up a low grade nuisance that keeps me popping Benedrils, which also make me more listless and lethargic.

I need to get away to a warmer clime. Some time in the Sunshine State would help. Instead I go home and watch TV or get on the 'Interweb'.

I don't want to do much at home, like cook a decent healthy meal or do any chores. I'm a morning person and most of my energy is available in the mornings.

Some good things are happening. Chorus has restarted. I have tickets to fly to Alaska for Labor Day (yeah the one in September). I used frequent flier miles so that part is cheap.

Andy and I are heading to New Orleans over his spring break in March. That will be a nice getaway.

I'm scheduled for leg surgery as soon as we get back - the Monday afterward. I've been frequenting doctors to get clearance for surgery and that has not been much fun except for the hottie doing my Echocardiogram and the other hottie at the front desk of my doctor's office.

I'm in relatively decent health - just need to exercise more and lose some weight. That's the usual problem. My preferred exercise is hiking and being a cold weather wimp, I don't get much in apart from the mall - sigh.

Eugene and I got together about 2 1/2 weeks ago and I am missing him. It'll probably be another 2 1/2 weeks before we can get together again. But we talk most days.

Been to some parties lately. Last Saturday our dining tour rented a short bus (think airport rental car bus) and went to a small town for a mediocre dinner. But the company was fun as was the bar afterward which became for one night the biggest gay bar in Woodford County. (It's probably always the biggest gay bar in the county even when no gays are there.)

A cute 20-something friend named Matt was toying with a bowling ball (oh yeah, the bar was attached to a bowling alley) and said to me that I probably have a lot of experience with black balls.

I had to agree modestly. Then he told me he hadn't had sex for a year since his boyfriend moved to Alabama. It was one of those sentences that you just don't know where to start with.

Before we could analyze this nugget very far, Matt excused himself to go puke.

The week before was the Jon & Neil belated New years Eve party. I had fun but kinda crashed about 11:15 and headed for home & bed before the big countdown. The party was crowded and noisy and I think my drink selection was having a war in my belly. I did play the drums and guitar in a couple jam sessions of Rock Star.

Sunday night, Tim had Hector (recently dubbed High-Maintenance Hector) and Bob (whom I cristened Lo-Main Bob) and I for chili and cards with the big game commercials were on in the background. I think I need to get Tim a cookbook so he can expand his reportorie beyond chili.

Well, it was good to dump some of this out of my head before it explodes.

If you are in a Super Tuesday state, be sure to vote before you begin the decadent festivities.

Treasure
4:04 p.m. - 2008-01-14

Quiet week. Got together Thursday with Andy for Chinese and videos. Went hiking on Saturday while it was sunny and 40.

Saw "National Treasure 2" - undecide about the movie - too formulaic? How many unbelievably huge treasures are there in the country? How many inaccessible places can we walk into?

Sunday was the Dining Tour dinner at the Japanese steakhouse. Jim and I went together.

Next weekend - Wisconsin and Eugene to keep me warm.

Tuesday with Badger
12:32 p.m. - 2008-01-08

So far the year at work has been calm finally. It was very stressful before the holiday break. Things seem to be under control now.

Dinner with Nancy last night. I shared with her that her sister's old boss Michael is now a she. We knew he was pretty bi. I hope he's happy now. I hope for a day when all children can grow up to be who they are. But then there'd be no drama to it I guess.

Struggling with our identity is an invaluable abeit painful maturing process. It kinda goes with this month's book club book - Middlesex. It's a very good book about the life story of a hermaphrodite.

Our unseasonably warm weather is spent and we're descending back down the thermometer.

I've been walking and watching what I eat. I've shed a few pounds. I'll be happy to lose about 10 right now.

Eugene and I IM'd for a couple hours last night. Weekend after next we plan on meeting up again.

Social Weekend
3:39 p.m. - 2008-01-07

Friday - Dinner with Tim then to my house to watch "Lakki: The Boy Who Could Fly" on DVD. A very unusual movie about a Norwegian boy that has some major psychological issues. I found it interesting but Tim nearly fell asleep.

Saturday - Watched the older movie "Swoon" on DVD. An interesting period piece - can you spot the anachronisms? Yep. Had to watch the commentary to see why they were there - yes intentional but not sure why. But it's about two gay guys in the 20's who murder a boy. One of the actors was really gay. I also admire anyone who can make a quality feature on a shoestring budget.

Went with Tim, Hector and Bob to see "Juno." Four Stars!!! One of the rare movies where I actually laughed out loud. The script is awesomely irreverent and down to earth. I won't spoil it by quoting, but it's a must see.

Sunday - 65 degrees in January - wow. Tim and Carolyn and I went for a 2 mile walk then went to one of our favorite pubs for lunch - now smoke free :-D We also enjoyed her new RAV-4 SUV.

Had a few short coversations with Eugene and started to plan our next visit, probably the weekend of Jan 19th.

Holidays
10:26 a.m. - 2008-01-02

2008 is upon us. The holiday vacation was a welcome repite from work.

Eugene came down the Wednesday before Christmas and stayed for a week. It was the longest we had spent together and things went well. It was kind of a taste of living together.

I took him to Christmas brunch at my folks and my brother-in-law had the courage to show up. At first Skip seemed uncomfortable, but before the day was over, he and Eugene had played pool and cards together.

We cooked and hung out and partied with friends and watched football games and movies. Of course the time went by too fast.

Between Christmas and New Year, in addition to the PEDs (post Eugene doldrums), I was feeling a tad under the weather. So I didn't accomplish as much as I would have liked.

Nancy and Andy and I got together on Thursday for pizza and our gift exchange. I also had the pleasure of meeting Ginger, Nancy's new kitten.

I did take a day trip along the Mississippi River valley just to fill a bit of my explorer bug.

New Years Eve brought a gay-borhood progressive dinner party where we spread festivities across four homes. And yesterday, my mom had her traditional New Years dinner.

Today it is back to the routine of work which I'm okay with except perhaps for my job being moved from the IT organization into the accounting department.

Christmas Crisis
2:20 p.m. - 2007-12-17

Eugene is coming down Wednesday for a long stay over the holidays. I told my Mom that he was probably going to come with me to Christmas Day festivities. She and dad were okay with it. I cleared it with Nancy and Andy and they were okay with it.

Now I know there is anxiety all around. But what I didn't expect was the phone call from my sister on Saturday. She told me that if Eugene was there, that her husband Skip would feel too uncomfortable to attend. She explained how this was a family occaisson and I shouldn't just bring him to such an event right off the bat. Especially this year when they had just (finally) found out that their daughter Mandy is a lesbian.

She cried about mandy not ever having children or a wedding and I explained how that is not true. I cried at the thought of having to be torn between staying with Eugene on Christmas Day or attending the celebration alone while the small minded bro-in-law sits across the table from me. Talk about being uncomfortable.

I didn't understand how Eugene being there would make him uncomfortable but Mandy's partner Sara being there was ok.I also had to listen to her explain how his Catholic upbringing colored his opinion. Of course the guy is so un-religious it's hard to think of this as anything but blaming his bigotry on God. I explained to my sister how there are many ways to interpret scripture and that one can only truly trust the relationship you have with God.

Of course I was upset and talked with Nancy and Tim. I thought about it and finaly decided that Eugene WILL be coming with me to Christmas and if my bro-in-law couldn't deal with it then that was his problem not mine. I left her a message this morning explain that most of my life I have been uncomfortable to try to make those around me "comfortable." But, I'm not willing to subjugate myself any more. I told her that we all have to do things that make us uncomfortable. I told her that Mandy and I have to face uncomfortable situations every day. Of course like Nancy pointed out, I've gotten by fairly easily with my coming out.

What I didn't tell her but wanted to was that Skip should grow up and be a man. Face reality and deal with it. Show a little courage.

I feel very good now. I stood up for myself.

previous - next